My Addiction

Not to make light of those who face addictions of any sort, but I have often likened my obsession with creating to a drug addiction. If you are an artist, you will fully understand this. If you are not, you may find this statement strange.

I just went back into the studio after nearly four months of no artwork activity.We have been building a new studio and for the past few months my supplies have been in boxes and equipment not accessible because of having to use the barn for building supplies. On top of that, I have simply had no time. Managing a building project has been more of a handful than I ever expected!

As I said, four months no artwork. I had mentally prepared myself for not doing any artwork over the summer. I gave myself permission to focus on other things with the knowing that I would, come the end of August, be moving into a new, better studio space that I could use in the winter months as well. Not a bad trade-off. I could handle the short term.

But two months turned into three and a half months and counting. When away from the clay too long, I get agitated. Little things bother me. I begin to obsess on what I am not getting done in the studio. I get cranky, maybe even slightly depressed. the demands of a full-time teaching job add to the stress and give even more reason why I need my "fix".

I couldn't take it any longer - no more waiting. I told Chris that no matter what, I was going to begin clay work with or without the new studio.

So this past weekend I heated up the barn and foraged through boxes looking for tools that had been put away awaiting their new home. I found enough to get me rolling. Filled a bucket with warm water and wedged about 30 balls of clay. I went to the hardware store and bought plastic tarp to line the barn walls and floor, and with my not-too-strong arms managed to shift the heavy potter's wheel into place. I started with my ritual throwing of mini pots, then working my way up to the larger bowls.

I instantly felt the most relaxed I have in months. All the worries about not having the new space ready, or the follow-up LAA work, or prep for school....just started to dissipate. I was centered, calm, complete. It felt so good, and long overdue. Hours passed in a flash.

As with any addiction, once you start in again with your substance of choice, you want more and more. Suddenly I am again ignoring the basic things that need to be taken care of. All I can think about is getting back into the studio, my hands in the mud. I lay awake in the middle of night thinking about I will make next. I hope for morning to come soon so I can get up and bring my ideas into some sort of visual reality. I remind myself to set limits as to how many hours I am allowed to be in the studio, lest I ignore too many other important things (and Chris lets me know when this is happening!) But eventually, the planned six hour sessions turn into 12 here and there. It is a cycle that is hard to break out of.

On the whole scale of things, an addiction to art is not so bad. I have, however, found myself saying more than once, that it is not an easy life being an artist. It dictates the space you live in, gives you sleepless nights when the mind won't stop inventing, and costs loads of money in supplies with little financial return.

It doesn't feel a choice to be an artist; you are just are. That desire to create is strong, and it has a tight hold on my soul.

Life Speeding Along

Shanna warping the Earth Loom in saturday's gusty downeast wind, preparing to weave in honor of Mabon with plants harvested from our land.

Last night I dreamt of a white horse running through a field. Every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of it's mane which looked like a Pegasus wing. The horse eventually came to me and I was able to pat it.

When I dream of animals, I refer to the book "Animal Speak" by Ted Andrews, to gain some insight into the dream's meaning. The horse represents freedom and journey, and judging by how fast this horse was running, I sense that some parts of my life might be moving very fast for me, faster than I might normally expect.

It is an odd juxtaposition, to on one level sense this speed, but on another level there are moments that feel so still and slow.

This past summer had me busy between building the new studio and organizing for Lubec Arts Alive. From these projects (which are both still in progress though transitioning toward an "end") I went back to my teaching job at school. At the same time, I have new projects forming in my mind and ideas about moving the arts forward for both our community and in my own personal studio and work as an artist. My mind never seems to rest.

Yet, in this one time-warp type moment yesterday, all things slowed to a perfect moment of stillness.

I had hustled around the house all morning in preparation for the Two Countries One Bay Artist Studio Tour. The final preparation was to warp the Earth Loom so that visitors could join me in weaving. At first, I was a bit discouraged. The air felt bitterly cold, and the wind was whipping wild. My hands were approaching numb and I still had many strings to measure, cut, and tie.

In this moment, listening to the rustle of tree limbs sway, leaves twirling and falling to the ground, I was in a meditative space with the rhythm of repetitive cutting and tying. I looked out over the field and toward the water, then the sky, watching the trees sway and grey clouds move quickly by with peeks of blue coming through. Instead of being the one always moving fast, I felt still and centered while nature moved fiercely around me.

Then, like a slow-motion movie scene, an osprey flew toward me, swooping down to perhaps only thirty feet from ground, then back up and over the barn, between an opening of trees, and off over the field.

It was a magical moment.

A freelance writer from a Canadian arts magazine interviewed me on Friday (I was one of many artists interviewed) and she asked a question about how the land inspires my work. Words can't fully express an entire philosophy and reverence for nature that I feel. But if I could have relayed to her that moment with the osprey, if she could have stepped inside my soul and felt that perfectly still yet whirling moment, I think she would have understood.

Hip Hip Hooray!

Shanna giving a cheer at Crow Town Gallery on opening night of Lubec Arts Alive 2009
Photo by Goodman/Van Riper Photography

Chris is off to Calais today to run errands and I thought I would snag a few minutes of the day to finally post a blog entry. The photo above says it all...relief to see things in action that I have been working on this past summer. Lubec Arts Alive was a huge success and just today I got the 200 photos titled and uploaded to a Flicker site. The work for LAA2009 continues, but I am closing in on finishing up the 2009 responsibilities. Of course, there is always LAA2010 to contend with...but we'll deal with that "little" project as it approaches.

For now, I am content to be sitting in my comfy big chair and breathing easy that one more task is complete. Still, the list is long, but I am feeling like routine is back to some sort of normalcy. School started a couple weeks ago and I am pleased that so far, knock on wood, all things are good on that helm. I am enjoying the classes and looking forward to seeing what masterpieces the students create this year. Even though teaching can be overwhelming at times, it can also be inspiring and rewarding. I would like to see the latter increase over the challenges long term!

The studio addition project continues. We are closing in on the final details. Soon the floor will be laid, stairs finished, and equipment moved in. We are still dealing with some leaking into the new basement, and until that is fixed, the kiln and wheel will not be moved. I am finding myself antsy, and wanting to create. This cold weather moving in has me moving toward hibernation mode and all I can think about (when not thinking about teaching or Lubec Arts Alive) is being in my own sacred creative space. I had hoped to be fully in there by next weekend since I am on the Two Countries One Bay Art Studio Tour, but it looks more like I will be in the process of moving furniture and supplies while visitors stop by! Close enough!

During Lubec Arts Alive, Chris gave a poetry reading in the new studio. It was amazing! even without the floor installed or the window trim in place, the ambiance was perfect. I keep dreaming of what other wonderful events we will be hosting in the future. The new space is a dream come true. I feel so incredibly fortunate and grateful to all who have had a hand in helping us achieve this goal.

If I want to see that new space ready for the loom and wheel, I suppose I should get back to staining boards and painting walls.

Check out the Lubec Arts Alive Sites:
Lubec Arts Alive Blog
Lubec Arts Alive Photos on Flicker

Hiatus from Blogging

With the start of school last week, Lubec Arts Alive post-project details, and working on the new studio at the same time - I am a bit behind with my blogging. I plan to make a new entry this weekend coming...so please check back later! I will hopefully be posting new pics of the studio progress, as well as a link to see a ton of photos from the Lubec Arts Alive event. Check out the other blog (which needs to be updated too!) to see the incredible mural that is now housed at the Lubec Historical Society. Natasha Mayers led the project and she was amazing!

http://lubecartsalive2009.blogspot.com

What a week!

Richard Brown Lethem paints Eugene, local lobsterman and chocolatier. Finished paintings in the background include me! I love Lethem's wild colors and quick expressionistic brush strokes. It was a real treat to observe him at work.

I guess I can say that Lubec Arts Alive 2009 is officially over. The last artist working, Natasha Mayers, swung by the house to pick up her books on her way out of town Saturday night at 6:30. It was a week to never forget - a bustling of activity from morning 'til late night. Lubec has never seen the likes of this - accomplished artists from Maine and beyond, thirteen of them, landing here for one week to "art-up" the town. The project definitely grew from its original conception of just bringing wild color and creativity - to something that documented a town's history and people while celebrating community. What is even more amazing is that these artists were originally expected to be paid, however, when the grant didn't come through, they all enthusiastically said "I'll be there anyway!" So, this definitely defined "Community" in the sense that everyone pitched in to help out. Individuals and local businesses provided housing, food, supply money and talent. Our sponsor list topped over fifty, and that doesn't even include the volunteers who provided muscle and equipment. Astounding!

We started the week with a wine and cheese at Crow Town Gallery. The committee had their first opportunity to meet the resident artists. Frank Van Riper and Judy Goodman were there from the beginning to photo document the event (they have since taken over 450 photos!), and Ruta of Tours of Lubec and Cobscook volunteered a local history tour of the town. Monday morning we started right in with the mural, portraits, and doorways. It was such an incredible experience to see all our planing come into action: folks from the community filtering in, feeling honored, creativity flaring, people laughing, curious, eager to do their part.

Throughout the week, we saw lots of faces, and honored many from the community. We feasted (many times!) The mural, which should be mounted soon, is amazing! I am so impressed with Natasha's ability to mobilize a crowd and get such an enormous and gorgeous artwork completed in one week. Hamilton Beach was filled with natural found object sculptures in the style of Goldsworthy, and Chris even gave a poetry reading here in our new studio space, which was followed by a fire circle complete with marshmallow toasting, banjo and accordion playing, and a sharing of poems. The portrait sessions were at times touching (especially the public viewing at the library of finished portraits) and the doorway installations downtown drew lots of attention from passers-by. The slide show (and moving shadow puppet show) showed the audience just how incredible, accomplished, dedicated, and talented this group of thirteen artists were, and how fortunate we were to have had this experience.

I was sad to see each artist leave, and the energy that they brought to our town and project. I hope we all have a chance to cross paths again.

I must also say - that I was overwhelmingly impressed with (and thankful for!) the committee here in Lubec! This group of five women worked their butts off! The two weeks prior to the event, and the week of, (and the months before!) left little time for anything other than organizational activities. This was the first time I was "at the helm" overseeing a major project, and as events unfolded, I could see even more clearly how talented this dedicated group of women was, and still is! I would without hesitation work with this same group again. It couldn't have been a more perfect combination with each person's talents complementing another's.

I need a little time to catch my breath and do some follow-up reporting and documenting for the event. Before long, we will update the Lubec Arts Alive blog with new pics, and perhaps build a website or flicker site to post all the incredible photos that were taken by various folks (including Judy Goodman and Frank Van Riper!). Wing Lum, filmaker, is also editing out the footage that he shot, and who knows where that will lead!

Thanks to all the incredible artists who came to our tiny little town to "art-it-up" (Natasha Mayers, Robert Shetterly, Richard Brown Lethem, Kenny Cole, Karen Adrienne, Rose Marasco, Barb Sullivan, Diane Dahlke, Alan Crichton, Harlan Crichton, Mary Bernstein, Siena Mayers, Jill Lavetsky!). Thanks to my fabulous hard-working, amazing, astounding, (and unbelievably gorgeous, if I may say) Lubec committee (Claudia Mahlman, Karen Burke, Jean Bookman Fincke, Jean Deveber, and Ann Rosebrooks). Thanks to our steadfast volunteers who were with us near every day (Roberta Cantlon, Judy Heyer, and that amazing family from New York!) and all the others who helped prime and cut wood, paint, clear out the grange, provided space for our events (Bonnie Beard and Ukey Santos, Suzanne Plaut, Denise Plouffe, Melissa Lee) and to all the businesses and people that provided food and sponsorship! What an amazing community!

I need to shift gears for a while. I begin teaching in less than a week and that will consume most of my time. All the while, we are still trying to get the studio done - which is coming along beautifully! I have missed my clay and weaving and hope to be back to that full swing within a month or two (my barn studio looks so bare to me!). And, "Two Countries One Bay Art Studio Tour" is coming up in September...so there is lots to be done!

Lubec Arts Alive 2009 is Underway!

The volunteers were busy little bees at the Grange - priming boards for the "iconic signs"

Lubec Arts Alive 2009 has officially begun!

Well, sort of. The all-star cast of artists arrives later this afternoon, except for Natasha Mayers who rolled into town last Friday. I think I have met my match energy-wise. That woman works hours on end and does it with a smile.

Friday evening was a welcome break from the organizational work. Chris made his fresh basil and pine nut pesto (the best you will ever have!) and I threw together the pasta, shrimp, salad, and homemade gingerbread with blueberries we picked ourselves at the end of our drive. The country french loaf that Ed and Dane baked fresh yesterday in their wood fired oven was literally...a slice of heaven. Boy oh boy, did we feast! Nearly two years had passed since we last visited with Natasha. It was great t0 catch-up a bit, but mostly, I enjoyed her gentle words of wisdom dispersed throughout the conversation. She is an amazing and inspiring woman.

The prep work at the Grange began yesterday morning at 9:00 a.m. We are so fortunate that Due East Realty donated us the use of this amazing and huge space! This project really wouldn't have fit so perfectly anywhere else. The location is visible, the space is vast, there are lots of tables, and there is space outside to park or work. Perfect!

I arrived at the Grange about 9:20 a.m. - and walked into a busy hive of worker bees ready to do what needed to be done. Jean did an amazing job of organizing volunteers for various tasks. It was a bit overwhelming at first with ten different people asking ten different questions, all eager to do their part, but needing direction. Claudia had her list of what needed to be done and did her own direction - and I tended to the carpenters, cutting needs, and portrait area set-up. And I must note, what AMAZING carpenters! So helpful and generous with their time. Thankfully Chris came along to help out too. He provided some excellent muscle and worked with Natasha to get her mural area ready. I wouldn't have survived this project without Chris' help. (Are you reading this Chris? THANK YOU!)

The volunteers and Natasha are due at the Grange at 9:00 this morning to continue with priming, paint mixing, and mapping out the mural. I am going to stay here at home base for a few hours to get the welcome speech and handouts ready for the artists' arrival later this afternoon. We have a wine and cheese for them at Crow Town Gallery (thanks Bonnie and Ukey!!!) and a local tour planned with Tours of Lubec and Cobscook (thank you, Ruta!!!!).

This project has been an amazing community effort - and without everyone's help would not have been possible. I am so grateful.

I know that you all are reading this blog entry and want to be here with us! You can be! Follow this link to the Lubec Arts Alive 2009 blogsite for a schedule of events. Then come on down, pick up a brush (or random natural-found-object) and create! We would love to have you here!

Priorities

The trail in our back woods

It's been one of those summers where it seems I can't find a moment to catch my breath. building the studio addition, on top of organizing for Lubec Arts Alive 2009, has been a full-time job and almost too much to handle at times. This past week had the added touches of losing my 16 year old siamese cat Barley, and the news of a childhood friend suddenly struggling for recovery in the hospital. But this morning, I woke to beautiful blue sky, warm breeze, and sounds of rustling leaves. Instead of writing my blog, instead of answering my emails, instead of making the calls that I need to make for the event next week, I decided to go for a hike.

My workaholic self finds it hard sometimes to tear away from the tasks at hand. But my soul needed a morning to forget about all the activity (and tragedy) around me. So Chris and I suited up (he in his straw brim hat, decked out with two shirts, long pants, binoculars, bug spray, and walking stick....me in shorts and shirt, carrying as little as possible) and headed out. Chris picked the trail.

One thing we love about this area is that there are so many gorgeous and interesting hiking spots. Morong trail is part of Cobscook trails, and is about 5 miles from our house, just off Crow's Neck Road. It isn't oceanside, but does have it's own unique character.

We parked our car a bit from the trail head since the road looked a bit sketchy. The walk in was through long grass and wildly buzzing horse flies. Luckily, the spray kept us relatively protected. We crossed a small wooden bridge with marsh on either side. The birds were singing happily, so many of them. We could hear a pileated woodpecker not too deep in the woods. The mucky spots from recent rains left many tracks for us to try to identify: Raccoon, dog, deer and bear we assumed. Berry-filled scat corroborated that fact. We picked and ate our first wild apples of the season, and devoured a few ripe, plump raspberries. We imagined the animals foraging for these delectable finds. It was a paradise feeding ground for all the critters.

One of the most fascinating finds on this hike was an old dwelling. At first we didn't realize it. We were standing on a huge boulder looking out over a field with a scattering of apple trees. We thought that this must have been a good spot for some old farmer to stand with his gun, watch for coyotes or predators of some kind that could serve a threat to his cattle or garden. Then, as we walked down around the trees, we noticed that the dip was a mass of huge rocks. Further speculation led us to the discovery of what must have been an old foundation made of huge flat rocks. At one corner, it appeared as though the rocks were laid to form some sort of steps into the basement. The dwelling was well disguised by the outcropping of trees from its center. Just passing by, without investigation, one wouldn't even think that this grouping of trees was anything other than just that, a grouping of trees.

I am not sure if I would call today a beautiful end to a rough week, or if I should view it as a beautiful beginning to a new week. Either way, it was a gift.